I think I can say I am going through a really hard time, in fact this is a new low. It feels like everytime I try to pick myself up there is someone opposing me and again i fall back on my face. Or everytime i try to find my way up from this pit there is someone dragging me down further down this pit.
I don’t usually wish if i was someone else, but right now it atually sucks to be me, so sometimes i do wish i was someone else, maybe one of the juinors or one of the seniors , i dont know anyone but except me.
I will remember this period forever in my life, it will be rememebered and told to my future kids. Times like this makes us stronger and show us who our real friends are. Cold winters don’t last, it doesn’t always rain, the storm pass away, but when it does it would have taught us a great deal. We would have grown as a human, we would be wiser and most importantly stronger , so again when life hits us hard where we are weak, we can withstand it, thats the best thing about adversity.
Life has been really hard on me, I have been like a bird migrating from one place to another , shit keeps happenning and moving like this is not easy at all. Don’t think anyone understands. Have a girlfriend who is not that hepful , sorry if you are reading this but it’s the sad truth, sometimes she forget to reply, sometimes she is dreaming and sometimes she doesnt have a reply, sometimes she forgets to check on me, but still I dont know why I am with her in this thing, maybe now is the time to go back to just being friends, but I guess it would hurt her and i have to deal with more than what’s on my plate now. That being said, she is really good and nice actually. Again apologise for “bad mouthing” or not appreciating you.
I havent smiled in ages, I remember even in Eid , i was at Thoddoo always wanted to go an island, it made me happy but still the sorrow was much greater, i couldnt put a legit smile on my face. Life is really hard i must say, it doesnt get any easier, i have to vacate my room tomorrow and go upstairs where there is so much noise i wont be able to focus and udertsand anything, but do I have a choice ? No. Sometimes i do wish i was in the hostel, it’s better than this.
Throughout this one month, to be honest the ONLY helpful person who has always been there for , who has always supported me and helped me keep going and motivated was Sonam. I appreciate it and she deserves something from me, I guess I will giver her BTS Merchandise. Everyday she would send me motivational quotes and helps me go thorugh, listens to me and give good input like a good friend. Only person who was there when i was going through the hardest time, someone who understood me. Thank you Sonam , a good friend, and a great sister. I pray that she pass the exam too.
This exam has got us in a really bad way, we didnt expect it to be like this, I definitely thought i was mentally stronger and i could handle whatever life threw at me, but i was proved wrong. But i am much stronger than i thought, i am still studying as much as i can and right now i feel like i have forgotten everything and i am hoping it is the stress. On Tuesday i will go sit down and write the Anatomy exam without any regrets and give my best shot.
This is not living.
PS : Half an hour ago broke up with my girlfriend.